Secrets to a Better Tomorrow

 I’ve always thought of the Bridges set as a safe space to talk about hard things. The first time Christy Neal was a guest on Bridges I knew our conversation would include hard things like adultery. Just mentioning the word adultery can elicit a myriad of emotional responses. The shame. The stigma. The scandal.

One day, Christy was offered this bit of advice about the affair she had during her first marriage, “Don’t Ever Tell”. Thankfully, Christy didn’t heed that counsel. Instead, she bravely faced her life, choices, and consequences.

Accept Her Divorce and Single Mom Status

Facing her life meant that she had to quit blame shifting. Instead, Christy had to accept that her divorce and single mom status were a result of her own choices. When we are in particularly hard seasons, accepting our life “as is” is not always easy. However, when we accept what is and ask for God’s help, He will answer. He stands ready to help, whether we are suffering as a result of our own mistakes – or if we are hurting because of the poor choices of other people. 

So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God.

There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace

to help us when we need it most.

Hebrews 4:16 NLT

  Own Your Choices?

Owning our choices is not for the faint of heart. It’s usually much easier to point to our dysfunctional upbringing, the failure of others, or you fill in the blank. However, accepting our lives right where they are – and owning our choices leads to freedom. Of course, there may still be consequences but His grace is sufficient, even when our actions created the mess. As Christy owned her choices she grew in strength, maturity, and character.

 Choose to Use It for Good

Even though Christy made some poor choices in her first marriage, she determined to use what she learned for good. For example, she wrote a book for women titled Don’t Ever Tell. The book is a message of hope, healing and restoration after adultery. Beyond the book, Christy is devoted to encouraging people to choose different.

So much of where we are today is the result of our choices – good or not so good. Even if we are suffering the consequences of poor decisions, we can change the course of our life by deciding to choose different today. We don’t have to let the poor decisions in our past continue to decide our future.

My conversation with Christy underscored in a fresh way that we can all choose to use what we learn for good. This is true whether the lessons we learn are from our failures or the failures of others that impact us.

I am not afraid to discuss hard things on Bridges because I know God is good. He is a God of restoration and mercy.  If you will accept your life as is – own your choices – and choose to use it for good – you will create a better life. As Christy says “You too could be one different choice away from a better tomorrow”.

 Today’s Secret from the Studio:  You are one different choice away from a better tomorrow.